Vedic woman: speculation or the path to perfection?

“Wear long skirts, do not cross your husband, always be happy with everything”, - textbooks and trainings about Vedic women repeat. In exchange, the gurus promise us a happy, strong marriage, a clean house and a bunch of kids. Is this archaic teaching useful for modern ladies? Or was it invented only to make them easier to manage? We learn from the experts.

Why are modern women so attracted to Vedic femininity?

Thanks to feminism, women once received the right to vote, wear trousers and decide for themselves how to manage their own body. And the modern emancipated lady is already hard to imagine standing barefoot all day long, barefoot and forever pregnant. Then how to explain the incredible popularity of numerous trainings and workshops on Vedic femininity, in which the representatives of the weaker sex, having paid a lot of money, learn total submission to their man, the “master”? Explains psychologist, coach Yana Leikina, in modern relationships, men and women there is a clear crisis. “There are very few capable, psychologically mature men. Therefore, the stronger sex has become a commodity for which women have to fight, to create for themselves some additional competitive advantages that will help in this fight, ”the specialist says. According to the expert, two extreme poles can be distinguished in this market of brides. The first of them is the so-called “school of the bitch” in which women are taught to be hunters, that is, to actively, aggressively conquer a man, presenting themselves as some kind of desired prize - dear and capricious. The second pole is just the trainings of the Vedic wives, who are taught the exact opposite - to conquer a man quietly and tenderly, submitting to him and dissolving his “I” in his interests. “And note: the first type of training is conducted mainly by women, and the second is occupied by male trainers,” adds Yana Leikina.

“Russian women are in a difficult situation,” says clinical psychologist Alice Galati. - On the one hand, they have become independent, strong, and on the other, they are still not ready for an equal partnership. They all want to infantilely dream of a strong man, "daddy", who will decide everything for them. And the idea of ​​mastering some tricks to attract such a man seems very attractive to them. ” In addition, as emphasized by Yana Leykina, such trainings of femininity create the illusion of guaranteed, easy problem-solving in humans. The woman believes that it is enough to pay money, to come to classes, and there she will be given clear and understandable instructions on how to behave in order to be happy. Moreover, some of the postulates of such trainings sound very logical and seem to be “right”.

“Yes, such trainings (and not only Vedic ones), as it were, remove responsibility for their lives from an individual, and eliminate the need to understand themselves. There is a guru - as he says, I will do it, ”adds Alisa Galati. In addition, the moderator plays a very important role in these trainings. As a rule, this is a very charismatic, sexually attractive man. “All of them behave quite dominantly, and the woman automatically switches on the transfer of the role of the coach to the role of the ideal man, whom she would like to see next to her,” notes Yana Leikina.

Should I listen to the doctrine of the Vedic wife?

According to Yana Leykina, such trainings are just a manipulation divorced from reality, which is very beneficial for men. Especially those who spend them, earning huge money. “If you look at how the role of a woman is described in the Hindu Vedas, then you can find a lot of useful things there. But at Russian trainings, the image of the wife of a priestess, a woman from a higher caste, is described as an ideal. This is an expensive woman who has a lot of rest and cares for herself. And our women have husbands who are not priestesses at all, and this must be understood, ”the psychologist notes. According to the expert, such trainings simply speculate with concepts, external attributes that have been taken out of context, which have long since lost their relevance. After all, if you talk sensibly, a modern woman has no need to wear long skirts, braids and be able to weave wreaths of flowers. But the most important thing is that on the basis of the Vedic teachings it is simply impossible to create happy, healthy relationships. “Yes, in a sense, women's submission, the ability to find compromises are important for marriage, but this is called ordinary wisdom, and not the position of the victim,” said Yana Leikina.

Let us examine in more detail what the trainings of Vedic femininity actually teach:

* The total responsibility of women for relationships. The basis of Vedic teaching is that the welfare of marriage rests entirely with the wife. That is, if the husband behaves somehow wrong - it means that the woman just did something "wrong." “The modern family is built on dialogue, and when it is not there, when the wife becomes a thing, the relationship is unlikely to be happy,” comments Yana Leikina.

* Manipulation of a man and insincerity. “On the one hand, the Vedic woman occupies a subordinate position, and on the other, she is taught to be such a sly manipulator who plays with a man. In such behavior there is no sincerity, true respect for the partner, ”the expert notes.

* The refusal of its own "I." Vedic trainings urge women to abandon their interests, focusing only on the welfare of her husband. According to the psychologist, a modern woman should be socialized, with a developed sense of “ego”, rich and diverse interests outside of family life. And the rejection of her self can have a detrimental effect on her psyche.

* Suppression of your feelings, emotions and desires. Vedic teaching encourages a woman to never show negative emotions, not to contradict her husband, not to be selfish. However, according to Alisa Galati, such suppression of her feelings, refusal from confrontation is a direct path to the development of emotional disorders - depression, anxiety, auto-aggression, etc.

* Painful dependence on men. Vedic teaching places a man and his well-being at the head of the value system of a woman. And against this background, the wife should not work yet, that is, she financially depends on the husband. “It turns out that in such a situation a woman finds herself in a trap - she can neither psychologically nor financially live without a man, even if their relationship has been exhausted. A woman begins to cling to her husband neurotically, as if for her only resource, ”explains Alisa Galati. Will in reality, a modern, adequate man be happy to marry such a crammed, neurotic animal, ready for it all? Of course, there are authoritarian men with a penchant for sadism who are deeply unsure of themselves and are looking for just such a woman. That's just a marriage with such a person is unlikely to be happy.

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