Antiheroes dating sites: how to behave with them

Decided to look for a soul mate on the Internet? Then be prepared for the fact that instead of the beautiful princes you will meet there a lot of stinging gnomes and evil orcs, proudly showing their character in the questionnaires. Why do some men behave repulsively on dating sites? And is it worth trying to get acquainted with such antiheroes? We learn from the expert.

As a rule, on dating sites, people try to show themselves in the most favorable light. They publish their best photos, emphasize positive character traits. However, it also happens that a person seems to have registered for the purpose of attracting someone, but presents himself in a repulsive manner. And, as a rule, such tactics are more characteristic of men.

As stressed psychologist, sexologist, trainer center for family and sexual education Secrets Victoria BastrykinaThe motives for such behavior are very individual. “Flirting is a delicate and fragile thing, like humor. It may well be that a man with a bad profile just went too far with unsuccessful jokes. And perhaps he is really a rude and terrible person, ”the expert notes. In any case, without communication in private chat, you can hardly establish exactly what kind of person is in front of you. However, some conclusions can still be made by analyzing the information that a man leaves in the column "About Me".

Very conditional anti-heroes dating sites can be divided into three types.

"Pathos Daffodils". As a rule, the profile of a man of this type clearly signals to potential brides that there are many of them, and he, who is all so beautiful (or smart), is one. The casting of brides at a narcissus takes place in a very tough manner, where every extra kilogram, year of life, or spelling error counts. “If you are not blonde 180 centimeters, and weigh more than 50 kg, do not write to me”, “If you know what a parting turn is, let me know!”, “I don’t respond to“ hello ”and“ hi, ”and your name I can read too, ”the men’s questionnaires warn ominously. Therefore, girls should think a hundred times and critically evaluate their external and internal data before daring to write such an “ideal”.

According to Victoria Bastrykina, if you stumbled upon such a profile, you should be wary. “In essence, it’s not bad that a man, for example, is concerned with certain qualities of appearance, but if he is obviously not interested in what kind of person you are, there will be nothing to talk about,” the expert is sure.

According to the psychologist, trying to please the daffodils is meaningless. After all, the list of their requirements may be endless, and in return you are unlikely to get anything other than emotional coldness and value judgments. “But each woman needs a man with whom she will feel loved and desired,” adds the expert.

"Losers". This type immediately hurries happily to warn the girls that he is a social loser, and there is nothing to take from him. “I am a beggar”, “I work in McDack, I live with my parents, ride my father’s penny and are generally prone to light bouts of dementia”, “Taxi driver” - “losers” boast. Interestingly, many of them do not even try to compensate for this information with something positive, such as “I have a good heart,” “muscular body,” etc. “Take what you have or wali,” they seem to say.

Of course, it is possible to hope that behind such profiles there are millionaires who frighten off mercantile predators. This is hardly the case. But, according to Victoria Bastrykina, most likely, the “losers” really exaggerate their plight. “Behind such a description there may be a middle-income man, not at all a beggar and not living with his parents,” says the expert.

However, in advance of reducing the social bar, a man clearly demonstrates self-doubt and fear of competition. As the psychologist emphasizes, a “loser” expects some kind of encouragement or pity from a potential bride: “For a woman, for example, in response to such an impulse of his soul, wrote:“ So, why are you beggar? I will work, and we can live in my apartment. ”

Should I meet with such a man? Of course it is! But only if you love the role of benefactress and "mommy" in a relationship.

"Cynics." Such a thing as “love game” and “flirt” are clearly alien to this type of Internet princes. They directly and roughly indicate their needs and conditions for their implementation, and at the same time devalue your estimated values. “If we don’t have sex on the third date, our roads will diverge,” “If you want to get married,“ swipe left. ” I understand that it was impatient, but I doubt your clarity of thoughts ”,“ I don’t digest the pathetic fools who glamor, but actually - monkeys ”,“ If you are a pride wagon, then you are a forest, ”cynics said.

According to the expert, behind the cynicism can be hidden as the true life position, and vulnerable soul. “Supposed sarcasm is something like a defense mechanism. Perhaps such a man has experienced a painful experience of relationships or a difficult break and is not yet ready to open up to new people, ”explains Victoria Bastrykina.

However, this can be reliably verified only in the course of live communication. So the cute “cynic” has a reason to write first. Well, on a date you yourself will understand whether such a man suits you or not.

What are the profiles of men exactly worth the "brush away to the left"?

According to the psychologist, you should be alerted by the questionnaire, in which there is neither a photo, nor any information about yourself, but only a vague nickname, age and city of residence. You should also pay attention to whether there are any doubtful photos in the profile of a man - genitals, sex accessories, etc. It is also worth more accurate to communicate with those who publish in the questionnaire pictures with other women, without explaining who they are.

“It is also better not to try to start a conversation if the man’s questionnaire indicates the specific purpose of dating, which does not coincide with yours. For example, you need a long warm relationship, and he is meeting for one night. Of course, there is a chance that after this very night he decides to stay with you in a long and warm relationship, but you shouldn’t hope for success, ”says Victoria Bastrykina.

What should the profile of an adequate man look like?

According to the psychologist, you should pay attention to those profiles in which men openly indicate a lot of information about themselves. They publish photos in which you can clearly distinguish their face and body in full growth. “Also a big“ plus ”will be the presence in the questionnaire links to accounts in other social networks. There you can see additional photos or text posts, which can be used to conclude about the style and lifestyle of the man, ”the expert adds. And, of course, carefully read the column "About Me". Normally, the information in it will be indicated with humor, a positive message and without spelling mistakes. “In a good profile, a man will surely indicate the purpose of the acquaintance, as well as his own interests, so that any young lady can focus on something other than pictures. Well, the questionnaire of an adequate man will in no case contain insults or harsh evaluative judgments, such as “I hate fatty” or “all blondes are stupid,” the expert concludes.

Watch the video: How To Be Like The Likable Hero in Movies, And Date The Hottest Girls (July 2019).